With many of our brides having just got married, we caught up with Sam Adams Results Based Coach & Motivational Speaker to get her top tips for overcoming post-wedding blues.
“It’s not uncommon to get the blues once the wedding and honeymoon is over. I myself experienced this. After 18 months of planning and plotting to have the perfect day it’s not surprising that many of us come crashing down. Be reassured that a lot of brides feel that like that: the thing is what do we do to get over it and move forward. The great news is that like all those times you want to change something around you – something you’re feeling – then it all just comes down to YOU! There’s no magic pill.. the magic pill is you!
Some of you will have gone on some kind of diet, some health kick and tried to take better care of yourself in order to look the best you could possibly look on your special day. Now the wedding is over and the presents are put away is the time to take even BETTER care of yourself -to really FOCUS on you.
My top tips for taking care of you are pretty simple, but it’s amazing how many people forget them. Some of them are pretty much just basic body needs, but can help us so much in self-care and turning things around when we feel a little bit blue. In order to lift your mood & lift ourselves it comes down to just plotting and planning a few daily routines, disciplines and behaviours: no major changes are needed – this are little day in, day out, changes. I promise you it will have a big effect on your mindset, your mood and your daily life. The thing to remember here is CONSISTENCY!
Tip1: self-love: it’s not selfish to put yourself first above your new spouse because the best version of you means you can give the best to your marriage, to your family, your friends, your job or whatever else you have on your plate. Think about the oxygen mask on the aeroplane – they always tell you to make sure yours is fine before you attend to anyone else’s.
It may feel strange, but get used to putting you first: work out what YOU need, how do you create happiness within you.. happiness is not found in someone else or something else its created BY you, so start taking better care of yourself. Every night before you go to bed or when you’re in bed think about tomorrow: think about how you want it to look, set your intentions for that day and plan out in your minds eye how your day will look. Part of that day always needs to include some FUN – something for you that brings you joy and makes you happy – it doesn’t have to be for long!
One of the best ways to boost your mood and your daily happiness is by getting active. The best time to get active is first thing in the morning. Even something as simple as a 20 minute brisk walk can release endorphins, serotonin and other fab chemicals to give our brain a boost and make us feel happier. It can also improve memory, focus and motivation. Our bodies are designed to move, so get active to improve your mood. One thing I do whenever my mood drops or whenever I get stressed is to go for a brisk walk and a change in environment. It can have a massive impact on my mindset.
So many people I know who suffered with blues, depression whatever you want to call it have used activity to get their mindset in a better place. If you do it first thing in the morning you have already ticked off a little internal achievement before you really get started for the day. Don’t let that little voice inside tell you you don’t have time: Get up earlier or go to bed a later. I promise you exercising – even a short brisk walk – will make a massive difference to your mindset.
Tip 2: Think about what you put into your body on a daily basis. I certainly love my food, but as part of my daily routine I’ve got into the habit of writing down what I’m putting into my body. You cannot manage what you do not measure. If you don’t write it down and you don’t have a clear idea of what you’re putting into your body those calories can mount up, and you can’t work out what needs to change to make the changes you want. Putting rubbish in our bodies makes us feel sluggish, tired, saps our energy and gives us low mood.
Tip 3: Like I ask all my clients, get into the habit of writing in a journal – it doesn’t have to be a beautiful expensive notebook (but why not if that helps you feel special!). Take 5 minutes at the end of each day. Start now, brain dumping your thoughts debriefing your mind and getting into self-analysis of your day and how it went. Check your mood and confidence levels for the day that has ended. Ask yourself what went well and did you get through the things you wanted to do. Equally, is there anything that didn’t go well? If so why is that, and what can you do differently tomorrow. It will become apparent where you’re going wrong when you do the self-analysis regularly as you will spot the patterns, and you will also be able to shut down the negative self talk that you ALWAYS do this, or ALWAYS do that because you will have the journal to prove to yourself that you don’t . This really doesn’t need to take more than a couple of minutes of your time, and it’s like saving your work and shutting down your computer – a little end to the day to reset and to take just a few minutes to yourself. You might even want to write a few notes in about what you want to achieve the next day (see Tip 1).
There is so much out there these days about self-love, self-worth, self-esteem, self-care…do you notice the pattern here? The keyword SELF… focus on you. I know you have a new spouse to focus on, but if you are doing the best you can, you’re taking care of yourself, you’re making sure there is exercise, fun and joy in your life then you’re creating happiness for yourself. I promise you your relationship will flourish, your job will get better and you will feel better than you felt in a very long time.”
You can find Sam on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/sam.adams.186gmail
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/samadamscoach/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/ThisIsSamAdams
Linked In – https://www.linkedin.com/in/samadamscoach/